This third assignment is giving me a lot of problems. I know what I want to say but I'm not sure how I want to say it. Plus, there is a lot of pressure on me right now to get everything done. The end of the semester makes me crazy and my anxiety disorder doesn't help with that. By the way, that's what I'm trying to write about. The anxiety that plagues me everyday and eats away at my soul. I can't function normally, ever, because of it. My mind is constantly going to the what ifs or what do they think or am I doing something wrong, where do I go, and on and on and on...
I first started having a real problem with the anxiety when I went to high school. I was that kid in the corner with few friends. My experiences in middle school made me a loner and I was getting used to it. But every time I would see someone "better than me," I wouldn't be able to calm down. On the outside I was fine. Inside, it was like a carnival. The noise, the surroundings, it was too much to handle. There was so much going on and I didn't know how to deal with it so I kept to myself.
The anxiety got really bad the summer after I graduated high school. I was all set to go to East Stroudsburg University as an Elementary Education major. I went to orientation and had a great time. Then the end of July came and I lost it. It all started when my dorm assignment came in the mail. I looked up my future roommates on Facebook and started talking to them. But something didn't feel right.
The rest of the story is for the essay but as you know, I ended up at Kutztown and I'm a professional writing major. Therapy helped a lot but things are getting worse again and I think I might have to go back. We'll see how the next two weeks go and what next semester has in store for me...
For now, I need to figure out how to make this essay about anxiety work without having an anxiety attack.
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